Hey Mama: Master the Art of Messy

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If a control freak like myself can learn anything from having kids, it’s that sometimes “messy” is just inevitable and out of my control.  The good news is that I’m starting to embrace it (kind of).  It seems to be my signature statement— some have designer handbags, some wear a certain perfume— me, I’m just usually messy.  So how am I mastering the art of messy?

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1.  Curse Words:

I’m realizing that when things get messy and chaotic, I can control what comes out of my mouth, but not always what goes through my head.  For instance, just today at Target, my 2 year old, coughing, with snot pouring from his nose, hair hanging in his eyes… began yelling, “C’mon Lady!!!” at the woman in front of us checking out.  Yes, he’s heard my road rage, obviously.  But he wouldn’t quit yelling it.  And even as I escaped to a new line and violently whispered, “MADDOX—- HUSH!  SHE CAN’T HELP IT!  QUIT SAYING THAT!”, he kept yelling it over his shoulder.  So, I didn’t blurt out &*%^ the way I wanted to.  But I did allow myself to chant it over and over in my head.  Don’t judge me.  I’m making progress.

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2.) Hair:

I’ve finally decided I’m totally okay with going 3-4 days between hair washing.  Not that I didn’t do it before, I just don’t feel guilty anymore.  I wear headbands almost everyday, and they ALWAYS match my outfit (or I wear clothes that match one of my 3 headbands), so “yay” for me.  And, if I am concerned that my hubby might wanna get a little frisky before bed, I just give my hair a little spritz of my kids’ grape scented detangler spray.  Seems to do the trick.

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3.) House:

Well, this is a TOUCHY subject.  See, we have moved just about every time we’ve had a baby.  I’m not talking about moving a street or two over a month before the stork stops by.  I’m talking about packing up and moving 2 WEEKS AFTER baby #2 was born (6 hours away to a place where we knew NO ONE… HORMONES PEOPLE!), and then 2 WEEKS BEFORE baby #3 was born, we turned around and came back.  Did I mention we lived in a roach motel rental for part of that time, then somehow managed to build a house, then we were STUPID enough to put in a pool, and then came the big FOR SALE sign before we could even stick one of our fat little toes into the water.  So, basically, in the past 5 years, we’ve been hard-pressed to even find a patch of green grass in the yard, a completed room, much less a “cozy retreat”.  And now, in the midst of doing this remodel and watching my husband plow through the yard on a Bob Cat like a Monster Truck driver on crack, mastering messy seems almost impossible.  I think I’ve come a little closer to mastering the bottle opener.

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But, I am learning that…

Hanging up some cheap art that says something positive makes even clutter seem “cool”.

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If you think something is ugly, just paint it.  Even if it will probably chip off in 1-2 weeks.  I mean, don’t all wives suck down a bottle of red wine, attempt to “re-grout” their bathroom countertop, and hand paint the ceramic tile while their husbands are gone??  Can you say DREAM WIFE?!!   I know!  Yes, it is hard to let paint “cure for 21 days” on a bathroom countertop when you are down to one bathroom.  Martha Stewart should have warned me about that (although I do love her new glass and ceramic paint and stencils).  If nothing else, this little project gave me a healthy escape (well, it would have been healthy if not for the wine).

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Instead of making excuses about your mess, just put it in everyone’s face.  It’s hard for them to talk bad about you when you do that.  This is the text I sent my mom earlier today, and I can always count on her for a motivational pep talk!

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If you wear a white prairie girl top to play out in the dirt with your kids, it almost looks natural when it gets covered in dirt.  That’s what prairie girls do, right?  Anyway, a solid white top is the absolute best shirt to get dirty in because, HELLO, bleach!!

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If you let your kids just go berserk outside, they are less likely to go berserk inside.  Just let them climb the trees, get bitten by ants, play around in nasty mud, squish bugs, stick their fingers in their mouths… okay, I’m starting to make myself a little sick.  But seriously, I tried to keep them in and clean for so long.  Now I am dreading the cold winter days stuck indoors, because the house just stays cleaner when they can get all filthy outside!

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If nothing else, maybe now you feel just a little bit better about your mess!

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tawny